The report is finally out and the doctor told us that my grandmum actually suffering from Lung Cancer, and it's already at a very critical stage where the cancer cell already all spread-ed to even the external side of her lungs.
Grandma, i feel ur pain... even when I'm feeding u water this morning, it seems so painful and hard for u to swallow. U can hardly open ur eyes now, u can hardly talk to us now, but i feel u deeply that u just bare all this pain just to see us all smiling happily knowing that u r fine. That's just so u 嬷嬷, never want anyone to worry about u.
U have been through so much. Especially recently, It's not easy for u at all and u did a great job grandma! I kind of blessed that we only know u diagnosed with cancer now, It's not like 5 years or 2 years ago because i know that we will send u for chemotherapeutic. So thank god u don't need to go through all this. I think this is Good Sign that u are been blessed by God and Grandpa.
嬷嬷, to be frank, until this moment of time, i still not willing to lose u at all.. It's been a real struggle seriously. I've been looking forward to see u every weekend. Talking to u, holding u, making u laugh, telling u about things in my life, how much u have been supported me and Fai in our life. U seriously such an AWESOME grandma! Sitting next to u, patiently hearing us with our Ups and Downs... and now, still without failed, everytime when we walk in visiting u in ur wad, u still putting a beautiful smile greeting us warmly.
I really dunno whether r u still cautious now? still recognize us? or still even understand what we're telling u? I really dunno... that's the scariest time for me to see u in that condition but now, u slowly fading off ur memory, u no longer talking alot, u no longer have any strength to support urself. 嬷嬷, i will be next to u no matter what. I will pray for u... pray for the best for u. If God and Grandpa wanna bring u to a more peaceful and better place, I'm really glad and happy for that as long as u don't suffer from the pain.
to me now, breathing the same air that u breath, being the same space that u r in is really "The Gift" of the day to me. I will keep praying for u... just rest and listen to my prayer and u will be just fine 嬷嬷! Don't be afraid, just follow your heart.. Follow the wind...
You are doin great! Looking Beautiful too like what mummy told u!
I LOVE YOU!
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